Being diagnosed with endometriosis at 22

A bloody Monday

Hiya Monday. How’s it going? BoJo got us all confused last night eh. But basically, just stay home so we can keep the R number down.

Enough about Covid – it’s Monday and today is… THE FIRST DAY OF MY PERIOD. Even though I have cramps and am generally moody, I’m incredibly grateful that my periods now are no longer anything like the painful periods I once had. For context, I’m now on Microgynon and I know that I can stop having periods but that’s a whole other post as to why I still choose to have the break.

Anyway – it’s Manageable Monday. Today we talk about periods, and more specifically, what it was like to be diagnosed with endometriosis when I turned 22. Because there have been many Mondays that I wish I could be honest with others about why I wasn’t okay instead of grinning and bearing it.

So, how did all this come about?

When I’m on my period now, my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy (sorry forgot to leave the Eminem rap at the door), but I generally feel like well, rubbish.

Since I got my period at the young innocent age of 10, my periods have been ridiculously heavy, as if once a month my sole mission is to birth a demon baby. Add to that the crazy heat and humidity in Singapore, a general reluctance to talk about periods, as well as an all-white school uniform…I was a nervous wreck whenever my period came around for as long as I remembered.

It all came to head when I had a kidney infection, and through an ultrasound, they realised something wasn’t right. I opted for a laparoscopy and they confirmed I had endometriosis. Tada! Sounds pretty straightforward doesn’t it? But what I’ve brushed over is how throughout university, I’d get tired within about two hours and fall asleep wherever I was. Or that during that demonic week, some days I couldn’t stand or sit up straight and would break out in a cold sweat, even in the summer heat on the Central line. And how, for a really long period of time, I was told that this was normal and I should just put up with it.

The end of the matter, or start of another era?

In the first photo, you see me super happy at my graduation. This was me, a few weeks after surgery. It was the first time post-surgery that I could zip up my graduation dress because the nitrogen that got pumped into me during surgery had finally gone down enough.

I’d lost most of my core strength and couldn’t even sit up in bed – I had to roll out of it. I remember dozing off in the auditorium before we had to walk across it, because I was so tired from catching up with everyone and the adrenaline itself wasn’t enough to keep me going. I had to start work shortly after this.

So even though post-surgery my symptoms were no longer that debilitating, once a month when I had my bleed, my brain would get hazy, my body would feel heavy and feverish, and I’d be in a dark mood.

Some days, I could sleep for over 12 hours, and still go to bed six hours later then sleep for another 12. Other than dealing with myself, I also had to deal with others: colleagues and coworkers who couldn’t understand why I needed a random day off in the middle of the week, friends whom I had to cancel plans with suddenly, or strangers on the tube whom I couldn’t ask whether I could have their seat because I was feeling so weak.

“I had to deal with colleagues and coworkers who couldn’t understand why I needed a day off in the middle of the week, friends whom I had to cancel plans with, or strangers on the tube whom I couldn’t ask for their seat because I was feeling so weak”

Other than social interactions, I also lost the coping mechanism I had at unversity, where I could stay in bed for a week. I now had ~aDuLt~ commitments, like a full time corporate job, to answer to. And in a largely male team, how on earth could I talk to them about my period?

That’s also a whole other conversation. I would strongly recommend reading Emma Barnett’s insightful and well-researched book: It’s about Bloody Time. All about periods… and why we as women are so ashamed to talk about it.

How being diagnosed with endometriosis suddenly changes everything

I almost don’t remember a time where I haven’t had my period – I’ve had it for about two-thirds of my life. But having to face the diagnosis of endometriosis made me reflect on well – everything.

I’ve prided myself on being a ‘people person’ and having compassion and starting with kindness. But, I also used to represent clients in the Free Representation Unit where some of them had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or other illnesses that I couldn’t see manifested physically. I remember Googling it after the first meeting with them, and asking myself “Is this even real?“.

When they had to cancel our meeting on the day, I’d even ask “What but you don’t have to work, why are you so busy?” – what an absolutely privileged cow I was. Just because I couldn’t see their illness with my narrow world view, who was I to judge them and say that their illness wasn’t real because I couldn’t – or refused to – see it? I’m ashamed to say I only realised the impact of invisible illnesses when I experienced one. Even now, it is still something that I have to actively unlearn: that something isn’t not defined as an illness just because I can’t physically see it or tick boxes to define it. I am not the one to judge other’s bodies and what they are going through. When you have an illness that others cannot tangibly see, they brush you off and go “oh but you don’t look sick enough“, or they actually question you as to whether you have it. And then they ask you whether it’s gone away – many invisible illnesses do not just go away, we live with them every single day. As my endometriosis reminds me whenever I have a sneeze, I feel a bit of the adhesion come apart. Lovely.

When you have an illness that others cannot see, they brush you off and go “oh but you don’t look sick enough“, or they question you as to whether you actually have it.

This has been one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, and there is so much to unpack around invisible illnesses and disabilities that I’m not sure I could do justice by trying to cover it here. But I promise we’ll talk more about it in a few future posts.

Being asked to make a monumental decision in minutes

When they suspected endometriosis, my doctor also callously said “Well, if it’s affecting you so much, you could have a hysterectomy.” Excuse me, what. I was 22, I couldn’t even decide what I wanted to eat for lunch that day, what made him think that I was equipped to make a decision about removing my uterus? Put in that position, I went ‘ok no hysterectomy, IN CASE I want children.” But if I’d had time to decide what I wanted to do, perhaps the answer might be different, who knows.

Aimen talks about the choice of not having children in one of our previous posts. I on the other hand, want and love children that Aimen can be the cool auntie to. When I see children I feel a twinge in my heart and womb, and I cannot wait for the day I can hold my own in my arms and if I cannot have my own, then a baby that I will adopt and love as my own. But I’ve only come to this thought process because I was forced to reckon with these questions that no one should ever have to face when they’re not ready. After all, no conversation about whether you have to have children is a clear-cut yes or no. Having to face it at 22? That’s tough.

And other than reconciling it with myself, I, fresh-faced university graduate then had to start work. I remember being terrified in my first few months of work whenever I was introduced to someone new that they’d be like ‘So, what do you think you want to do in a few years?‘ (which they unsurprisingly asked all fresh graduates).

I stumbled through my answer, always worried I would let on that I had endometriosis and reveal that some days I’d be incapable of working. Or that when I do decide to have a child, the journey will be much harder. I’d feel the panic rise in my throat as I pretended to be the bright new hire, and pray that no one would ask me about my thoughts on maternity leave – which is something people still ask women candidates in interviews (wow shocker!).

What’s next?

So as I sit here wrapped in a duvet and can’t tell whether I’m cold because of the howling wind outside or because my body is prepped for that first drop of uterine shed-blood, what I want to say is: In a time where we all tell each other to #bekind and not judge others, we should stop to reflect on what we think we know about invisible illnesses and disabilities with no physical manifestations. When there’s something to see, we with our narrow world view can go, “Phew, yes they’re ill or disabled. They look ill or disabled enough.” There is no such thing as looking ill or disabled enough, there is only us questioning ourselves on whether we’re willing to put in the work to unlearn what our ableist society has ingrained in us.

Also stop judging people, it’s none of our damn business. Now let me just get through this Monday. 

– Q 🩸🩸🩸


How to be a good (?) friend

It’s been 50 days since I hugged a friend

It’s been nearly 50 days since I went into lockdown. Nearly 50 days since I hugged a friend. I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships and how they’ve evolved in the last few weeks. We’ve all started to explore our relationships and friendships more and figure out how we communicate through this because as humans we are so resistant to change: in a time where everything is changing, we want to know that nothing has changed.

As we all struggled with staying home and social distancing, some of my friends and I have somehow ended up spending more time talking to and supporting each other (probably because there are no pesky managers looking over our shoulder while we WhatsApp on our laptops…). I’ve supported my friends and they have supported me. We’ve cried over losses, celebrated accomplishments, and sure as hell held on to each other. We’ve experienced friends who’ve stepped up, and friends that suddenly weren’t there. We’ve been a lot more open and forgiving because guess what, we’re in the middle of a pandemic and now isn’t the time to centre yourself in your relationships.

We’ve been a lot more open and forgiving because – guess what – we’re in the middle of a pandemic and now isn’t the time to centre yourself in your relationships.

Regardless, I’m so grateful for all my friends – those I talk to every day, and those that I check in with once every few weeks, and those that I know even when I haven’t spoken to them since I went into lockdown we will still be as close when we come out.

After all, every friendship is different and they don’t all require the same amount of Houseparty interaction. But I’ve also had to go through a friendship breakup at the start of the lockdown and that really really hurt and I’ve started looking inward within my friendships.

What is a ‘good’ friend?

The question I’ve really grappled with is “How do I be a good friend?” But it took me bumping my head a few times to realise, guess what, that’s me putting myself at the centre of that friendship again. What I should really be asking is “Is my friend getting the support they needs from me?”

A “good friend” isn’t an award you can achieve by clearing level 29 of the Friendship Chain, then moving on to claim the “best friend” badge by keeping to a 542 day streak. Some friends almost immediately become a good friend, and others just stay as best friends, whereas others over years become a best friend. So why are we be so fixated on trying to be a “good friend”? Let’s focus on being a better friend.

Being a “good friend” isn’t something that you can achieve by clearing Level 29 of the Friendship Chain, then moving on to claim the “best friend” badge by keeping to a 542 day streak.

Friendship can’t be sustained at the same level all the time, it needs to ebb and flow. It’s not just about being there for your friends when they’re having a tough time – it matters when they’re in a good place too!

If you’re in a position to be able to support your friends in this time (because YOUR mental health come first), then there are a few things that you can do when your friend shares something with you:

  • Put down what you’re doing – don’t multitask: if your friend has come to you with something that they want to share with you, good or bad, they’ve taken the time out of their day to tell you something because you are special to them.
  • Listen but truly listen to hear – Stephen Covey said “The biggest problem in communication is that we don’t listen to hear – we listen to reply.” The first time I heard this, I wrote it down in my notes app. That was in 2015 and I haven’t deleted it since.
  • Take the moment to spend it with a friend – you don’t have to give advice right away nor should you feel like you have to. Only offer it if your friend needs you to do so. Otherwise, take the moment with them and be present for your friend.

Friendships require nourishment and care

A friendship is like a plant: you have to look after it, you have to nourish it, you have to make sure it stays hydrated (water is the source of life). And on that, here’s a #science fact: the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed; energy can only be transferred or changed from one form to another. And on the planet of your friendship:

  • The energy needs to flow between you two, it doesn’t go anywhere else so when you receive some, give some back
  • If all one of you do is take without giving… that’s not a planet that’s a black hole and try not to get sucked in!!

Know that when you are friends with someone, friendship is a true gift. Cherish it, enjoy it, and remember to get that energy flowing! A bit of a rambly one but felt I had to put it on a page.

If you want to chat, my inbox is always open, or you can ask me on @whatwouldqueeniedo Wednesday. Sending love out to you, through the screens and I hope it brings a little bit of light to you. If you’re reading this and you’re one of my friends, know that I love you and even if we haven’t spoken, I’m thinking of you. One day we will meet again and you will get the squishiest hug.

– Q 💌


Supportive Sunday: WeCook London by Chef Jen

As I was brainstorming on what I wanted whatwouldqueeniedo to be like, one thing that I always wanted to include was features on female led brands, organisations and charities that make a difference in the communities they work in. So here we are for our first Supportive Sunday! Today, for our first feature I’m really proud to introduce one of my best pal’s businesses.

Jen (aka Chef Jen) started We Cook last year and all she’s done is driven it from strength to strength regardless of what the world’s thrown at her. She pivoted and tried a completely different business model as we went into lockdown. Now, she not only looks after the chefs she works with, but also restaurant suppliers. I love that Chef Jen places such an emphasis on food that nourishes you yet is accessible, even for kids. Food holds a special place in my heart – it’s nourishment, enjoyment, culture and most importantly, family. 

Chef Jen of WeCook London

So, who is Chef Jen and what is We Cook?

Chef Jen created We Cook from her love of cooking for people who would prefer not to.

Jen and her team of professional chefs prepare fresh, healthy meals from the comfort of your home kitchen. Your chef will work with you to design you perfect menu each – the ultimate personal service.

Since the team can’t cook from your home right now, they’ve launched a new home delivery service – By Chef Jen – to keep cooking a repertoire of healthy dishes, for busy families in London. We Cook by Chef Jen delivers across London on a Monday evening, so you can fill your fridge/freezer with healthy meals so you have dinnertimes sorted.

Chef Jen creates a brand new menu each week, including a selection of meat, fish and plant-based options – plus kids Mini Meals!

Hey Jen, how are you doing?

Mostly great thank you! I would be lying if I told you I was 100% positive all of the time – but then again who is, even without Coronavirus causing chaos.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I’m a teachers pet with a love for anything creative… I love painting and have a music degree (the dream was once to be a singer songwriter!) I also had 3 competitive Muay Thai fights as this was a huge passion of mine for years, and I’m still really into fitness now!

My proudest (and most stressful) moment, was being a part of BBC 2 Chefs Brigade last year, where I got to travel around Europe with Jason Atherton and a team of chefs, to compete with Michelin starred restaurants!

With We Cook, you get gorgeous home cooked food like these “Beef Chillin’ Wedges”

Why did you start We Cook?

I started We Cook as I was determined to start my own business that addressed two important problems that I could see a lot of people had, when I moved to London last year.

  1. Everybody in London is just so busy! I couldn’t believe just how much everybody relied on Deliveroo, Pret, Meal Deals – even myself at times! I realised that if even I was struggling to cook fresh meals for dinner every night, people with children to feed too must be struggling to juggle everything.
  2. Everybody’s tastes are very different. Working previously running a meal prep business, the biggest problem we faced was customers with dietary requirements, or simply being able to please everybody. I love feeding people more than anything, and so I wanted to create a service that meant I could get it right for everybody, no matter what their tastes or preferences.

What are you most proud of with We Cook, to date?

Honestly just bringing it to life. I took baby steps last year, applying for part-time personal chef positions and posting local ads to test the waters but since then I’ve really gone all in. I designed my own website (twice thanks to Covid-19!) and have a base of regular clients whom I love cooking for. I now have a team of 3 chefs and despite the lockdown, have successfully managed to pivot the business so that everybody still has some work, and all of our clients can still be fed!

What keeps you going when the going gets tough?

My clients. Even when it gets tough, I find it easy to keep going because this is my ‘baby’ so to speak. I’m sure any mum would tell you that even when things get tough with their children, nothing would make them want to quit being a mum – at least not for long anyway!

I love making people happy with food, and that will never go away. For years its been my ambition to successfully grow my own company and I always knew that would come with a lot of challenge and responsibilities, so I try to roll with the tough days and love the process of it all. (I also listen to a Gary Vee podcast when things get really tough haha – he always pulls me through!)

What’s your ambition for We Cook?

I have a lot of different ideas that I want to test out with regards to growing We Cook, before I commit to a long-term ‘goal’ as such. I say this because I believe business is all about evolution and adapting to the world around you so that you can continue to solve people’s problems. Just look at the current situation – if you had ambitions before coronavirus I’m sure for many people they will have changed significantly since.

I believe business is all about evolution and adapting to the world around you so that you can continue to solve people’s problems

– Chef Jen

Generally speaking, however, I want to grow my team of chefs so that we can cover as many clients in London as possible and then look to branch out into other cities across the world. With the deliveries, we’re reaching lots of new customers and gaining so much insight into what people want and need at dinnertimes, so I’m using that to steer my vision for the future, in particular looking at children’s ready meal options and retail avenues.

You can reach out to Chef Jen and find out more about We Cook at their website. You also get 2 free mini meals on orders over £25 with the discount code KIDS25. Chef Jen cooks, so you don’t have to!


How to Focus

Following on from wanting to be more present in everything I do, I thought it’d be useful to think about focus. This is in line with Manageable Mondays over at @whatwouldqueeniedo – where all you need to do is get through the day.

I used to think that if I didn’t achieve anything on a Monday, the week would be wasted. What I realised was: I was achieving lots of different bits, but couldn’t finish or follow through (whoops).

So, how to focus?

I’ve tried out some techniques to help me finish whatever task I’m trying to complete. Here’s what I do:

  • Get to the root of what distracts me most: Most of the time it’s Instagram. When I’m bored I pick my phone up and… off I scroll. Before I know it, it’s a full hour gone and I’ve got a powerful right thumb.
  • Remove that distraction: I put my phone in another room or behind me where I can’t see it! Out of sight, out of mind (just like the f*ck bois)
  • Turn off pop-up notifications: Especially for emails! Whenever I get an email I’m like ooh gotta read it now (yep I’m one of those people that have no unread emails). Without it popping up on my screen means I can keep my focus and only go seek that distraction when I need to check it
  • Unsubscribe from notifications: And when I check my inbox, I want it to only be full of things that I care about! How many emails do each of us receive in a day that we can delete without even reading? If I find myself constantly deleting emails from the same source, it’s time to unsubscribe!
  • Be honest with yourself: How long can you focus for, and how long will each task take? If you can only focus for 25 minutes, then make those 25 minutes count and stop forcing yourself to sit still for 3 hours. Also, if you know how long something will take you, you’ll be able to plan how much you can do, and therefore feel motivated to keep going because you know you can do it!
  • Find some apps to help you: I use Flora (iOS only) if I need a short focussed burst. This is based on the 🍅 Pomodoro / Timato Timer technique 

Processed with VSCO with a1 preset

Now, make the habit stick

These tips are only useful if you’re able to use them constantly, otherwise… what’s the point?

  • Know that the hardest bit is starting: Once you start on something, chances are you’ll keep going. So don’t think too far ahead, just think about getting started. You know what you need to do once you get going!
  • Keep it fun for yourself and make it a game (similar to how my mum is addicted to Candy Crush and can do it for hours on end): If you set an hour long limit on the apps you spend too much time on, how many days can you go without hitting the limit? Start your own leaderboard!
  • Practice, practice: If you don’t practice focussing on what you’re doing constantly, it won’t happen when you need to summon it suddenly

Did you manage to read this through without distraction? In my previous post, I talk about listing things we want to do differently when lockdown ends: improving our focus could go on that list!

In the words of pop queen Charli XCX, I just want you to focus.

– Q 🤓

Personal growth

What am I doing differently when lockdown ends?

Since the UK went into lockdown, the narrative has gone from “Ugh I miss doing this” to “Mmmmm look at what I’m doing now“. Slowly but surely, I’ve allowed myself a glimmer of hope that we will one day be able to go out normally, when lockdown ends.

This time has made me pause. You know when someone tells you to take a deep breath in, and just before you exhale there’s this moment where your breath hangs in the air? That’s what this lockdown has been. The air feels stiller, and even the light feels like it’s at a standstill sometimes.

When lockdown ends, what parts of normal are worth returning to?

I’ve started to think about the things I want to do when lockdown ends. That ended up being a really long list of things (inspired by Dolly Alderton). Ultimately, I realised I wanted to do was change the way that I behave, interact and live, because I know that we can’t keep going the way the way we used to. After all, where your attention goes, your energy follows.

After all, where your attention goes, your energy follows.

So I want to pay more attention and spend my energy more in:

  1. Having way, way, way, less screen time and actually lifting my head more to observe and be curious
  2. Engaging in quality over quantity when I spend time with myself or with others
  3. Being braver, in speaking up for what I believe in
  4. Doing less multi–tasking: I want to devote my energy and purpose to each task
  5. Giving my time and love more freely.

TLDR: I’m going to stop taking life at speed, and actually slow down to enjoy it fully, and I’m going to start now!

The power of lists: Make your post-lockdown list

I think it’s a brilliant thing to write a list of things you can’t wait to go out and do again when this is over. I’ve made my own list, and it’s made me really appreciative of things that I used to take for granted…

  • Going to a cinema and enjoying all the adverts before the movie starts
  • Taking my time in supermarkets while grocery shopping deciding which brand of pasta you could buy because there are so many to choose from
  • Exploring farmer markets and wanting to try everything
  • Trying all the food samples in Whole Foods and trying to find the most bougie thing they sell
  • The breath of “fresh” air when you come out of the Underground during rush hour.

Practicing gratitude when things are good

Why is it that it always takes something bad to happen for us to appreciate things in life? We’re constantly told to practice gratitude and be grateful for what we have, but sometimes the hand we’re dealt with really sucks. In situations like that, it’s hard to be grateful and hearing ‘oh but at least you have xyz‘ just isn’t helpful. Practicing gratitude when things are good, could be how we teach ourselves appreciation

How do you reconcile practicing gratitude, in a tough situation? I’m going to read some more and share my thoughts maybe in a new post soon. Let me know what your thoughts are on gratitude.

In the meantime: what’s on your list of things you can’t wait to do when we come out of lockdown? More importantly, have you paused to think about how you’d like to live differently?

– Q 🌱

Personal growth

Having your birthday in quarantine (again)

Happy birthday to me! I’ve always felt bad about making a huge deal about my birthday, but I recently read @salmaelwardany ‘s birthday post which really put into perspective what and how we celebrate things in life. She says “It’s why I love birthdays. You get to stop, take a breath and raise your chin, look over your shoulder and say yes, I did all that.” Go read the caption in full – it is such an important statement of how and why we should live bravely.

Birthday in lockdown: SARS Edition
Birthday in Lockdown: Coronavirus Edition

So even though I’m not with loved ones celebrating this year, I’ve come so far from last year, and I’ve written a list of things that I want to do better so that next year I can look back and be proud of how far I’ve come again in another year.

This birthday has also made me a lot more reminiscent for things that I never realised I remembered.

This is actually my second birthday in lockdown (thank you SARS). I don’t remember much of the first birthday I spent in lockdown. However, I won’t forget my birthday this year:

  • Because I want to recognise the amazing people that get me through when things aren’t rosy
  • Because I want to honour those that are essential workers and working hard to keep the world going
  • Because I want us to question and remember the decisions that were made that have led us to where we are today, and how we can, will, and need to do better as humankind moving forward

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

– Mark Twain

With that said, I hope we go forward with an excellent memory (might have to borrow from elephants 🐘). For those that are keeping the world turning in this time, I see you, I love you, I thank you!

– Q 🖤

Personal growth

Searching for my Ikigai

I feel like I’ve been going through the motions for some time. I was going to work for a job that I’m incredibly grateful for. I was working out at an amazing studio (hello Psycle), hanging out with awesome friends and the eternally patient boyfriend, seeing my family and actually enjoying it, but something was just missing.

I was introduced to the term Ikigai, which apparently has its roots in Okinawa. And apparently it’s one of the reasons Okinawa has the largest number of centenarians in the world…!

What is Ikigai?

This concept answers the age old question of “What gets you out of bed every day?”. To find that answer, you try and answer the following questions:

  • What do you love?
  • What are you good at?
  • What can you be paid for?
  • What does the world need?

There are many resources out there but the ones that I have found really useful were:

How I use the concept of Ikigai

I hope that creating whatwouldqueeniedo will help me achieve my Ikigai, and ever since deciding that I wanted to create this place, I’ve felt it’s become easier to get up in the morning and to get through the day. You know that scene in Infinity Wars where Drax goes “Where is Gamora?“, then “Who is Gamora?“, then “Why is Gamora?“… I’ve asked myself repeatedly “Why is Queenie” albeit not as a muscly man who takes everything literally…

I had these realizations in a few stages:

  1. I asked myself constantly honestly what I was missing from my life
  2. When I knew which aspect was missing, I then talked to the people around me whom I knew loved me – friends, family, colleagues and asked them what they thought about me and why they loved me
  3. Understanding who you are and what makes you so specially and uniquely you
  4. So with that knowledge, what was I going to stop doing, keep doing, and most importantly start doing?

So, what are we doing here?

I’ve had many ideas about what to do and I started many projects to realise that they weren’t 100% right. It’s completely okay if not one thing ticks all the boxes, or if it takes you a while to get to what might be the best thing for you.

The most important thing is that you’re honest with yourself about what brings you joy and purpose, and this will constantly evolve as you grow older and wiser (or as we call it here, sage up).

The most important thing is that you’re honest with yourself about what brings you joy and purpose, and this will evolve as you grow older and wiser.

I think I’ve found a rebalance of my life with launching WWQD (but check in with me again in a few months – as I said it changes all the time!) and I want you all to get there as well through WWQD so that you know what makes you tick, what makes you special, and what makes you joyful and gives you purpose.

Want to join me on my Milano and epic playlist?

– Q 🌼

Personal growth

What is WWQD?

Hello, hi welcome to whatwouldqueeniedo!

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Queenie, a 27 year old female currently living in London. I was born in Hong Kong, raised in Singapore, came to the UK for university and have stayed here ever since.

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while and thought that there was no better way to welcome into the world what I’ve been referring to as my ‘creative baby’ than my 27th birthday.

So, what are we doing here?

Here, we’re going to figure out together how to maximise avocado eating and minimise f*ck boy dealing. It’s tough enough being in your 20s as everyone knows, but to be a millennial as well?! We don’t stand a chance, do we?

I definitely don’t have all the answers but I think between us and the big wide web, chances are we probably will figure some of life’s questions out together. I’ll share what I know and have learnt, and hopefully you can do in kind for me too.

Solid, practical advice – no noise

I’ve personally struggled throughout my 20s with friendships that hurt me more than break ups have, relationships that meant so little to me that I started meaning that little to me too, arguments with family that I thought I couldn’t come back from, jobs that I loved but couldn’t stay in, getting into so much debt it would probably take me up to 7 years to pay it off. When I then tried to look for answers or at least some direction, I couldn’t find one place that helped me look at everything holistically. I’d find some amazing resources where I’d learn lots from, but also some that was neither useful nor practical, and occasionally I’d get peddled some product that I didn’t need and I knew they didn’t believe in either.

Finding fulfillment

Over the last few years, I’ve come to realise that in order to be happy and fulfilled (the ultimate life goal, no?), you need to come to terms with your relationship with friends, family, partners, work, and most importantly you. There are so many intricacies, nuances, facets and angles to look at all of it from – and there are so many useful resources out there that can help us grow. I want to share them with you and if there’s anything you think has been really life changing and useful for you too, do let me know and I can share it with everyone else.

Well I guess that’s a welcome – I can’t wait to see all of us glow up, bless up, and sage up together! 🌼

Lots of love,

– Q